Finding Faith. Believing. And Trust.

A few years ago I heard of a book called, A Course In Miracles. It definitely piqued my interest, and I thought it would be another good self-help kinda read – a genre that I love so much. So I went out, got the book, and opened it up. Well, it was DENSE to say the least…totally over my head. There was also a lot of religious sounding wording (God, Jesus, The Holy Spirit, etc.) that at the time I was kind of put off by. I was pretty fresh on my spiritual path and as they say, timing is everything. For The Course, this just wasn’t my time.

Never in my life had I considered myself a religious person, or really a believer in anything but myself. That was up until I doubted myself (shocker!) and began to mask all of my fears with drugs and alcohol. Fast forward about 13 years and here I was at the beginning of my sober recovery having picked up this text about miracles. I was sober for at least a year, and that was a huge miracle but I wanted more. But as I said, I was not ready for The Course, I couldn’t understand the concepts and so it ended up in my bookshelf without being opened again for a few years. This January, I decided to give it another shot. Having made some truly huge strides in my journey of healing and recovery, I figured it would be a good time to open up that big blue book once again. If you’re unfamiliar with The Course, it is broken down into three sections. There is the text, the workbook and the manual for teachers. The workbook consists of 365 short exercise/meditations for each day of the year. It is an affirmation of a sort, to get your mind to think in a new way. The Course defines a miracle as a shift in perception from fear to love, and the exercises aim at bringing about more of these shifts.

Today’s affirmation, day 47, was “God is the strength in which I trust”. After reading a bit further it goes on to say that we are fearful, depressed, anxious, addicted, and on and on, because we have put our trust solely in ourselves. In reality, we have someone was bigger and more badass we can trust in….GOD. Now, if you’re not into the term God, substitute it out, The Universe, Higher Self, Source, Inner Guide… But the point is the same, little old me and you just don’t cut it! As ACIM says, “If you are trusting in your own strength, you have every reason to be apprehensive, anxious and fearful. What can you predict or control? What is there in you that can be counted on?” Holy Crap!!! It is anxiety provoking to rely only on ourselves to get through the day to day struggles of life. But when we believe in something bigger, something more powerful and ever loving, and THAT is who we place trust in, well it’s like a huge weight has been lifted. In times of confusion, don’t work so hard to figure out the problem, instead pray – asking for guidance and support. When you are hurt or heartbroken, and all you want to do is drink, eat or shop away your sorrows, once again pray to see things differently and remember that someone still walks with you through the hardest of times. If a decision needs to be made, we can over-analzye about which choice to make and then still have doubt after it is said and done. OR we can ask the universe for signs, to show us the way, and feel confident as we move forward. Doesn’t this sound good? It’s like having a coach, parent, best friend, mentor and a really amazing assistant at your side at all times. The only thing you need to do, is get out of your own way, and place your trust in God. It takes practice, like anything. You might even be thinking how can you place trust in someone that isn’t there. That is where faith comes in, you try it out, as funky and even stupid as it may feel. Placing all your trust in something or someone you can’t see is scary, but what do you have to lose? When you realize there is only the feelings of safety and security to gain, you can try it once, or twice. “There is a place in you where there is perfect peace. There is a place in you where nothing is impossible. There is a place in you where the strength of God abides” (ACIM, Lesson 47). Do you want to find that place?