In alignment; I am complete.

 

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I start to push into my elbows, forearms and palms then begin to inch my feet towards the top ofmy mat. I lift up one leg and start to take tiny hops, using core strength rather than momentum, and up I go into Pincha Mayurasana (forearm stand). I’ve been here before, many times with a wall, and more recently without for a breath or two. But today, I take one, two and then three breaths. Something is happening, I feel so aligned and perfectly stacked that I take breath, nine, ten and eleven. I feel as if I could hold the pose for minutes.  I take myself down by choice – not falling out of the pose and my heartbeat is thumping in my chest. This inversion makes me feel strong, but more than that it makes me feel brave. Kind of like a super hero!  So for eleven breaths and then the few moments after I come out of a pose, I feel on top of the world. Look at me! I balance on my forearms – look how far I’ve come! And physically I have come far in my practice. But it’s behind the physical journey that I have made big strides and huge changes. I can stack my bones and joints and balance on my hands or arms, but inside I feel aligned which makes me feel complete just as I am. The release of the pose gives me a sense of satisfaction, a rush, dare I say a high. But this high doesn’t come from a substance, a drink, a drug or a pill. This practice has aligned me to my true self where I no longer need any of that to be myself, to love, and to be happy. Here  on my mat, alone in my body and soul just as it is, I am complete. 

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